Scratch...

And I'm not talking homemade biscuits from scratch, I'm talking running from scratch.

I ran a mile this morning. It was amazing. Amazingly awful. It was cold and windy and stupid outside. I made it about half a mile from the house and thought, "Meh, good run." Turned around and ran home. Something has to change. I need new scenery, a renewed commitment, a treadmill, a race, a goal, and plan.

Well I have begun working on the last three. Thanks to Jolene over at Journey of a Canuck Mom on the Run I have decided to register for the Run Raleigh 1/2 Marathon in April. I think this is just enough time for me to get my rear in gear.

So...
Race:    Run Raleigh 13.1 on 4/14
Goal:     Sub 1:55
Plan:     Hal Higdon Novice I

I think that's a good start....

More & More Like Myself....And Bloody Parts to Show for It.

Yep. I am certainly feeling more and more like myself these days. I readily admit I had been in some sort of hazy fog for the past year or so but I am slowly getting back to being me.  There are a number of things that are uniquely me...5 Mile Style if you will.  First thing being last minute racing. I once was known for my procrastination in registering for races, often deciding the night before, showing up race morning, registering at the last minute, and running.  Second being my Signature Pose, or on Instagram #Amandapose (feel free to give me your best Amanda Pose and hashtag it!).  And the third thing that makes me ME is my tendency to crash and burn....big time.

Last night I headed out on a new route. In the dark. With no head lamp. Hashtag FAIL. The only thing that was not completely stupid is that I was not alone. I'm not completely stupid.  It was familiar territory for my newest running buddy so I wasn't too overly concerned.

This particular run made me think of my running days, back in 2008, when I first started running with RED. She was faster than me. Much faster than me. But she continued to run with me. She didn't give up. And slowly I caught up with her, it only took her getting some stress fractures to slow her down...Ahem! But after she healed she came back to her speedy pace and we were evenly matched. Anyway, my running buddy last night was quite a bit faster than me but I kept up (about 10 or more steps behind) as best I could.

Nearing the home stretch we were running on the side of the road, into traffic. Ahead I saw a car coming and behind it a motorcycle. Neither made much of an effort to cross the center line to give us some room so I decided to play it safe and hop off the shoulder an into the ditch. I felt my feet hit the grass and then one more step and my foot did not make contact with the earth when it should have....a hole!!! I had stepped into a hole! I saw my life flash before my eyes....No wait, it was the headlight of the oncoming motorcycle!

As I fell I made some sort of girly holler....and then my elbow caught the side of the pavement, my palm smacked down, my knees scraped on the side of the road. Everything about it was awful. As I stared at the motorcycle I did some sort of roll so I would roll off the side of the road and into the ditch and not get hit by the motorcycle. Although I think I'd rather get hit by a motorcycle than a car. It would have been bad for both of us though.

The motorcycle kept going. I'm not sure if he saw me almost die or not....but I laid there and did a quick inventory of my body. I was alive. Good. I could feel my legs...and my knees were burning. Good.  I held my arms up and could move them and didn't think any bones were sticking out. Good.

Then I just rolled over and laid there.

My running buddy ran up and and helped me up. I'm sure I gave quite a scare. I was later told that I resembled an armadillo for a second, with arms and legs everywhere....Story of my life. 

We didn't have much farther to go, less than a mile. So I stood up, brushed myself off, felt the familiar warmth of blood, gross, and resolved myself to being a bloody mess, and ran.

Once we got back I could actually see the damage in the light. It could have been worse. I could have been roadkill but I'd say given the circumstances I'll take hamburger any day.

**VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

I had put my ID in my pocket, you know...just in case. It was bugging me so I took it out and was carrying it.  I later noticed that the back was scraped so badly that much of the lettering was rubbed off on the side and I had a small scrape and bruise in the shape of a square on the same side as my bunged up elbow. The ID card no doubt saved my hand. 

 My other hand wasn't so lucky...it got a bit scraped up.

Top picture was last night...bottom pic was this AM....

So of course I had to text J-Ninja immediately to let her know something horrible had happened...plus I just wanted attention and knew she'd give it to me.

So next time....I wear a head lamp. Or maybe I wont run in the dark. Or maybe I stick to routes with sidewalks. I think all of those are good options.

For now...I am happy to be alive and hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight without flashbacks of the motorcycle headlight coming straight for me.

It's good to be back....

On a totally unrelated note, I have been nominated for the Top 100 Health and Fitness Sites for 2013! If you want to cast a vote to get me to a better standing than my current #26 that would be awesome! Just click the HERE then scroll down to the F's...you'll see my outdated and awful picture. =/ And cast your vote! 

Vitamin B12 Complex-Product Review

Ugh...it doesn't happen very often, but when I can't sleep it leaves me dragging all day the next day. I was staring at my ceiling when the clock hit 3:45 AM. I knew it would make for a long, rough day. I sit in a dimmly lit, warm, cozy office listening to people talk all day. If you went to a therapist and she was yawning during your session I'm sure you'd be quite put-out. So my job depends on me being able to stay awake, stay alert, and keeping my mind sharp. At one point I depended on coffee and Diet Coke to keep me awake. I eventually realized that by mid afternoon if I didn't get a caffeine fix my head was pounding. Not good. I don't like being dependent on a stimulant. So when Rachel from 1st Step Pro- Wellness approached me about their Liquid B-12 Complex that provides natural energy I was pumped!

I decided to use this 1st Step Pro-Wellness Liquid Vitamin B12 Complex for 6 days to see how it made me feel.   I knew B12 and B Complex vitamins were good for me but I didn't fully understand what the big deal was. I learned that when combined, B12, B9 and B6 vitamins work together to help our bodies work more efficiently and effectively. The B complex is of critical importance to metabolism (Heaven knows I need all the help with my metabolism I can get), the nervous system, vital organs, eyes, muscles, skin, and even hair! Who knew?  Over time, when taken consistently the B complex enhance your mental health. Not only that but it assists in converting food to energy which in turn gives you the energy you need to get through your day! 

A few other fun facts about 1st Step Pro-Wellness Liquid Vitamin B12 Complex:

-Gluten free and 100% Vegetarian

-Made from natural cherry, passion fruit, mango, and papaya juices, sources from orchards right here in the USA! 

-It provides energy without artificial ingredients of flavoring powders and chemicals. 

-Features 99% pure pharmaceutical grade B-12, delivering the purest form of B12 possible!

-Unlike other pill forms of B12, the liquid form absorbs almost immediately, reaching the bloodstream quickly and allowing the body to absorb the majority of the supplement.

-For more than 10 years this brand has been the nutritional brand of choice by more than 330 collegiate and pro sports teams, as well as countless elite female and male athletes because it works.

-According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition (12/11 edition), long-term supplementation of daily oral vitamin B12 and B9 promotes improvement in cognitive function. And who doesn't want that??!

So...how did it work for me? I used this for 6 days in a row. I drank half the small bottle in the morning when I woke up. I forewent my morning coffee, which was difficult for me since it is more a ritual to make the coffee and slowly sip at it as I get ready in the morning before I eat breakfast. But I didn't  notice a lack of energy or dullness that I would usually feel if I skipped my coffee. 

By early afternoon I would take the second half of the Liquid Vitamin B12 Complex. Usually I get very busy with back to back appointments and often have to squeeze lunch in when I can. This was easy to consume, within seconds. Not to say it curbed my appetite, that is not something it does, but it did give me a boost of energy and brainpower. Usually when I get hungry I get brain-dead or  feel so out of energy. This was a good way to get me through a few more clients until I could eat lunch. 

After about the 4th day I did start to notice that by the evening time I was not wiped out. Normally I would come home, make dinner, fight homework with LB, and then fall into bed by 8:45 or 9 and lay there, absolutely exhausted. But in the evening of the 4th day when I cleaned the kitchen after dinner instead of leaving it for later, and took the trash out, I realized I had more energy at a time when I am usually just wiped out. I'm not saying I was bouncing off the walls, it was very subtle. But it was real...I had a bit more energy than usual. So am I believer? I think I am. I have since picked it up when I see it at the local Walgreens. You can also find it at Bi Lo, Publix, Kroger and other places that I'm not familiar with. If you want to give it a try HERE is a link for a $4 off coupon!! Sweet deal! 

So if you find yourself needing a little ooomph in the day check it out. It certainly wont do any harm. You can check out their facebook page HERE or website HERE.

Six Days In: 2013....Goals & Resolutions

So here we are, SIX days (almost 7 by the time I post this) in to 2013. I've been pondering my goals and resolutions since the 1st, not a day before. I'm a procrastinator. It has been really difficult for me to come up with them this year and I had no idea why. Until yesterday.  

This is a year of change for me. Everything is new. For one, I am a single mom...I've put on my single mom hat, no longer a "Geographically Single Mom" as I once called myself during deployments, but a true single mom. This morning I felt proud of myself. That's a pretty cool feeling compared to the shame or embarrassment I had felt only a few short months ago. I have a new appreciation for others in my position. It's not easy. But anyway, with everything being new I feel like each and every day, week, month is an adventure and I don't know what is in store for me. I feel free....Goals and Resolutions require commitment and I am not sure where or what I will be doing by the end of 2013....Regardless I have come to recognize that no matter where I am, what I am doing, who I am with or not with, there are a number of things I CAN commit to doing in 2013.

This morning in church there was a quote, I have heard it 1,000 times and even used it professionally with my clients in counseling. It's seems simple, but it takes a lot of practice: If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.-Maya Angelou

This brings me to my Resolutions and Goals, yes...I am going to make a few of both, since I feel there is a distinct different between the two.

Resolutions:

1. Be aware of my thoughts and how they affect my daily actions and feelings. If I don't like something, I will change it. And if I can't change it, I will change the way I think about it. I am no longer willing to sit and wait. I will take action. This can be applied to my personal life, professional career,  my fitness/running, my health, and my spiritual and emotional wellness.

2. I will not let more than three days go by without breaking a sweat (unless incapacitated or otherwise physically unable).

3. Settle into a fitness routine that involves cardio, strength, endurance, and flexibility training. Maintain this routine consistently.

4. Learn more about healthy eating and living. Implement what I have learned. Daily.

5. Become more connected to friends and family who have been neglected over the past few years as I make this transition in life.

6. Take time once a week for self-reflection and meditation.

Goals:

1. I am going to work at forgiving. It is too difficult to carry anger and resentment. It is my goal to forgive the few people who were once in my life that I have not forgiven-wheather asked or not. I know true forgiveness is difficult, which is why this is a goal. I will do my best to let go and forgive...

2. Eat less processed foods and sugar, shop the outside of the grocery store.

3. Take a vacation in April.....

4. Run (and complete) a marathon.

5. Do triathlons again this summer.

6. Do more yoga.

7. Move to a new house.

8. Identify a PhD program and apply.

9. De-clutter my house and get rid of excess stuff...and do not replace old excess stuff with new excess stuff!

10. Smile. laugh, have fun and enjoy each and every single day with myself and with loved ones....

There they are. My Resolutions and Goals. I do have a few more personal and private Resolutions that I have opted to keep to myself. But the exciting is that I have made them and I will hold myself accountable and now you know them too. 

So lets get this party started! 

Dear 2012:

Yes, 2012....you were a year. A year of changes, good and bad. A year of obstacles, hurdles, and a road full of bumps. But you were also a year of growth and change for the positive. I have found myself being ME again, being carefree and independent. As I close my eyes and try to recall many of the events of 2012 I see a fair mix of positive and negative. I think, I know, the biggest, most life-changing event of 2012 is separating from my husband. At the time and the months that followed life felt hard, impossible, and no fun. I could not see that it would get better or easier. I held hope that I would move on and find a new normal, a new life, new happiness.  I don't think I believed it. But as time went on my friends and family stayed by my side, encouraged me every day and slowly smiles outnumbered tears and I realized I was ok. I was happy. I am happy. I had new experiences and began rewriting my future. I began thinking about my goals, my hopes, my dreams...what I wanted. It was hard at first. Even scary.  I found that I had been sacrificing who I really am, and that takes a toll on a person. It becomes hard to be happy and life turns into a series of motions. Motions that bring no joy or happiness.  So 2012 is the year that my adult life restarted.....

I welcomed my fourth niece into the world in February, whom I just met over Christmas! 

Newest member of the family! 

The summer of 2012 consisted of beach trips every other weekend with LB. There is something therapeutic and healing about the sun, sand and surf. We had a great time every time... I got to see my dear friend RED and her family in the Outer Banks and another old friend, Jennifer and her family in Oak Island. Such a blessing to reconnect with friends!

Me and RED!

Me an Jen! 

LB and JT living it up in OBX!

Can we go to the beach now?

Me and LB! 

I was honored to be in my TFF's (Total Friend Forever) wedding in WA in August, which allowed me to visit the city where I fell in love with myself and with running. I also found on that trip that I really didn't need that city to be happy...in a sense that trip set me free from wishing and hoping that I was still living there and allowed me to be happy where I am now. Not to say I don't love all my PNW friends to pieces and wish I could see them every day, but more that I am now able to be content with where I am and can look back on Tacoma with both positive and hurtful memories.

Beautiful Bride and amazing friend!!! 

This year I also started a new job, self-employed as an independent contractor. It has been hard work but my business is doing very well and I am LOVING it. I am so grateful to have a job that I enjoy doing every day.

And most recently, like just Sunday 12/30, my grandmother passed away. She was 92 1/2 years old. We saw her on Christmas Day. She came out to my mom's house to celebrate Christmas and to see her grandchildren, great grandchildren, her daughter and daughter in-law. She had seen everyone in her family and I truly feel like she knew it was ok, we were ok....and she passed away painlessly.

LB and Great Grandma on 12/23/12

I know there are many more highlights of 2012 but I just don't have the time to rehash them all here...and sadly I didn't do a very good job of keeping up with my blog over the past year. Maybe in 2013... 

As far as running and races in 2012....this hasn't been the best year. I found a large gross cyst in my knee that led me to DNF Big Sur marathon. That was a huge blow to my racing ego....I recently also DNF'd a trail race (less than a week after coming down with the worst flu ever, but who's making excuses). I did a few small local races that went pretty well to include a new 12k PR, which is great.

So overall, 2012 was an OK year as far as fitness. I didn't do a single a triathlon and poor Nelly sat in my garage and didn't hit the road one single time. Which leads me to 2013...

Many people have changed the terminology from Resolutions to Goals. I got curious and looked up both words to see which would be best for me.

I am choosing to make Resolutions. Goals are good but Resolutions seem to be more of what I need...not a soft goal....oh yeah maybe I'll accomplish it but a firm resolution of yes, I resolve to do this!

I am still thinking on my Resolutions and will return this evening to post them....for now I want to make it to the Hot Yoga class in an hour.

What are some of your Resolutions? Or have you decided to set goals?

Ryan's Reindeer 5k

So I decided last minute, and I mean last minute, to actually roll out of bed Saturday morning, for the third year in a row, to do Ryan's Reindeer 5k. Meh...it's just a 5k.

The race start was 8:30 and I got up at about 7:15, still undecided. Of course I had to take a poll on my facebook page (big mistake) and it was nearly unanimous that I should get my rear out of bed and race. So I did. I wasn't really looking forward to it since all my friends were busy. It is a busy time of year after all.  I was almost to the race site when I was stopped. I had to wait for a stupid train that came to a complete stop. I thought I was going to miss the race. After waiting about 5 minutes I decided to find another way...surely there was another way!

And there was!!  So I rolled up to the race and registered with about 10 minutes to spare. It was cold but not freezing like last year, so I left my jacket in the car.

While waiting to register a short, cute blonde chick cut me in line. I almost punched her in the back of the head....then I realized it was my friend Andrea and The Heezie!  For the record, I would never punch anyone in the back of the head for cutting in line. That would be really mean. I was so excited to see them and to not be racing solo. Last year at this race The Heezie paced me to a 5k PR. I knew it wouldn't happen this year.  I had a plan to chillax, just run, you know like out for a short Sunday stroll, on Saturday....

This race is actually a fairly difficult 5k in my opinion. The first half mile is uphill. It is a pretty significant uphill at that. Once the race started I still had plans of just lopping along. It was crowded and I had started near the back with a lot of walkers, dogs on leash, kids in strollers with adults, and just other little kids who like to weave in and out and get under your feet. But once I got to the top of the hill the crowd has thinned a bit and I was warmed up and felt like going just a bit faster. Not to mention up the hill and turn then there is a nice quarter mile downhill. So down I went....then up again.  Just before the 1 mile mark the road levels out a bit with only smaller ups and downs. At the turnaround I was going at a pretty good pace. I'm not sure what it was but it was certainly under 8:30. Once I made it up the steep quarter mile hill to round the corner toward the home stretch I was feeling a bit queasy...but I was almost done. Half a mile down down down.....This is where this race always gets me. It is a fast finish and sometimes I am just not supposed to run that fast. The last half mile was under a 7 min pace....and I had to work hard at not throwing up my breakfast. Gross. My time was ok...I'm not sure exactly what it was but it was 26 something. Certainly not a PR but it certainly could have been had I started out with that as a goal and not been near the back (gun start). My first mile was over 9 minutes. That killed my pace.

I'm glad I got out of bed to run.

So what's next? I need to start working on my 2013 plan....

You know what's weird?

A 12K PR....THAT'S weird. 

I had no intentions of getting a PR on Saturday. I actually simply hoped to finish. To not die, or throw up...or make a huge spectacle of myself.  All of which were certainly very legit possibilities. I figured this would be just a run.

I showed up for the race with no expectations other than to freeze until we started running.  It was cold, in the mid 30's, which is actually good running weather, just not good stand-around-and-wait-to-run weather. Luckily we didn't have to stand around too long before it was time. Once we started running it didn't take long to warm up since the first half mile was a nice incline. It was nice to run with new scenery, new people, and new music on my iPod. I quickly fell into a nice pace that felt comfortable as my running crew disappeared around a turn and weren't seen again, until the finish.  I had hoped to keep each mile under 9:30. I succeeded in this until mile 7 which ended up being 9:32. Not sure what happened there other than I was bored and tired.

I remember back in 2010 when I could run for miles, holding each mile pace within seconds of each other. I just ran at a comfortable pace and it was steady. It became a game to keep each mile at the same pace,  or within one second faster or slower. The best I ever did was an 18 miler where 15 of the 18 miles were right on at around 8:53 min/mile. My paces were kind of close during Saturday's run: 8:55, 8:41, 8:58, 8:58, 8:56 ....9:26, 9:32, last .44 was an 8:06.

Unofficial Garmin Time.

I finished this 12k in 1:07.20. That's a 9:02 pace.  A PR!! My stupid last two miles brought my pace way down. I can't say I am exactly disappointed though, especially since I had no plan or intention of going out and actually running hard and I probably could have held the last two miles to a 9 min/mile but there were hills, I got warm, I was bored, there were lots of walkers all over the course, and a stupid girl in front of me was driving me crazy by A) running on her tippy toes in a very unnatural way and B) speeding up when I got right beside her, pulling a head then slowing, then speeding up...That drives me insain. I just wanted to run. I didn't particularly care to pass her, I was just running. She was the one who couldn't hold a pace to save her life.

Either way this race was a new PR. My previous PR was 1:08.43 at Sound to Narrows 12k, one of the most difficultI have ever run, on a very hill course though North Tacoma's Point Defiance, but Saturday was a PR nonetheless of 1 min 23 seconds. That's a pretty good PR if I do say so myself. And the race bling wasn't too shabby either...

So I am looking for my next race....In the mean time I'll up my weekly mileage and work on speed.

You win some, you lose some...

...and I think I've been losing a lot lately. I'm not sure why. I was recently told to stop being so hard on myself. Am I really that hard on myself? I don't like to do things half-way, usually. I like to give a 100% and do my best, and usually I do. But here lately I've found myself kind of half$%&ing things, if you know what I mean. And it only slightly bothers me.

So what have I lost and not won lately?

I will go from most recent back, starting with my Thanksgiving turkey.

Oh yes. I messed it up. I stuffed it with lemons and oranges and a few limes as well.  I've done this before and it has turned out delicious. But this year I tried to be fancy and stuffed it with the citrus the day before, allowing it to sit in the fridge and soak up all that flavor. Turns out a turkey that tastes like a lemon, like licking a lemon, is not exactly delicious. FAIL.

Next up is the Raven Rock Rumble 10 Mile Trail Race.  Remember that? Yep. F.A.I.L. It wasn't even close to a win. Talk about being put in your place. That trail showed me who is boss....here's a hint: It's not ME. I know that trail running is very different from road running and I (should) know better than to go out, completely unprepared, and attempt to run 10 miles on a trail. I should have registered for the 5 mile option, since that is what I almost completed anyway. I had a lot of first experiences during this race. I have to say it was fun and I did enjoy it, despite having to call it quits and taking a turn and running past the crowd who was yelling, "Turn here....to the finish! Turn!" and I just replied, "Nah, I'm good!" And kept going...away from the finish and towards the safety of my car.  I wonder what they really thought about that....a runner seemingly coming all the way to the finish just to totally by-pass it. Kind of funny I guess. Either way, this was my second DNF. Ouch. FAIL. Let's just say I need to redeem myself.

Speaking of redeeming myself, I have registered for the Reindeer Fun Run  12k this weekend. A 12k? To redeem myself? What have I done? Oh brother. I just cannot accept the fact that I am no longer in the condition I once was in, where I could hit a double digit run any given time. Not anymore. I'm lucky to make my way through 6 miles. But I did run 6 miles Sunday and another 6 this morning. I should be able to complete the 12k. Keyword: Should.  It mostly likely wont be a PR or a PW (Personal Worst) for that matter. It will be mediocre performance. 

So how many times in the past year have I said I'll get it together? Well this time I hope I mean it. I think I mean it. I mean it right now this very second....I've got to get it together. It feels good to hit the road and I have missed it. 

But I don't want you all to worry that I have gone all Negative Nancy on you. Quite the contrary actually. Like I said, you win some too!  LB, Lazy Dog and I have been having a good time...There has been dancing in the street:

Pouty lips:

 Chilaxing....

 Head squishing...

 Hugging....

 And beautiful sunrises!

So not all bad...I'm ready to head into Christmas and the New Year!