I almost fell off the wagon today…

This is my story.

Today I felt stuck in the mud. I felt like I lost all my fitness and was starting from scratch. I knew I needed to get back at my training, but I felt like I couldn’t. For the first time in a long time I felt overwhelmed, like I couldn’t. Like I should quit. Like I wanted to quit. Like there was no use. Like a nap was a better choice, or actually like a nap would make the feeling of needing to work out go away.

I KNOW. Terrible.

I have no idea what was going on. I think this flu thing got in my brain and burrowed holes or caves or something. I was scared to get back at it. I haven’t been scared or intimidated by my training EVER. Not even when I started my first marathon training.

I knew that if I didn’t grab my gym bag and get in  my car I chanced not EVER doing it again, or at least for a long time. I was on a slippery slope. I was about to fall off the wagon. After texting with Mel-Tall Mom and Jessica I knew I had to go, my Triple Threat Girls needed me to get back at it, after all we committed to this Half Iron together.

As I drove to the pool I realized I forgot my towel. #$%# @$%#!@! $%#%!!! I almost turned to go back home for it. But I didn’t. I kept moving forward, like a freaking magnet was pulling my Jeep nearer to the pool…like a stupid UFO beaming me in or something.

I had planned to swim an easy 1000 yds then make it to spin class at noon where I would give about 75% effort. I know, I am sure that is insulting to the instructor but I wanted to be frugal with my new energy. I’m telling you, it is strange how this sickness knocked my confidence.  I got to the pool, took a shower, froze my bootie off until I got in the pool then SWOOSH….I swam.

I felt good! I felt strong! My lungs felt good! My body felt good! My arms felt good! The water felt good! I wasn’t drowning, I wasn’t coughing up a lung into the gutter, I wasn’t sucking wind! I was OK!

I finished up my 1000 yds at 12:00. I was a little disappointed to realize I wouldn't make it to spin class but really, this was a good first day back. Usually Fridays are my easy swim day so I’ll switch today and tomorrow, leaving me with a 3 mile run and 20 mile bike tomorrow.

On my drive home I was thinking. When we feel good, or at least for me, when I feel good, I take it for granted. I never stop to remember how bad I felt that one time I was sick. It’s not until I feel like crap do I think of my good health, I always imagine myself in a sunny field with flowers and a soft breeze, or driving in my car with the windows down, laughing and just feeling good.  So this hit me like a slap in the face, what about the people who don’t feel good all the time? People like my dad, who is fighting pancreatic cancer. I know he doesn’t feel great but he gets up and he smiles and plays with his grandkids and he goes about his day.  He feeds the cows and hauls fire wood, he checked my oil when I was home last. He is not taking his health for granted any more. The good days are a blessing. I don’t know when or if he feels bad, he doesn't really say. But I felt kind of bad for feeling so bad the past couple of days.  I guess my point is this, I’m going to make a point to be thankful for the good and not take it for granted. 

When you are sick, what is your healthy again daydream?

You don’t have to answer this, but what is something you  realize you have taken for granted? Can you turn it around RIGHT NOW and be thankful for it from now on?

While I’m feeling all sappy-licious….you’re all pretty awesome!! Thanks for being YOU!