Thursday, January 22, 2015

Myths About Running a Marathon Part III....

Ok, the last 5 myths about taking on the marathon are here! I know you have been on the edge of your seat, just waiting for these final thoughts....if you missed it click here for Part I and here for Part II.

I know by now you have probably already picked your marathon and registered! So these last five myths may make no difference to you at all. I still feel it is important to finish what I start...(get it? Finish a marathon?? Hardy har har!!!).

Myth #16: It's pointless.

Maybe so. But for me it was not. Deciding to train for and run my first marathon was a huge life changing decision for me. I have written a number of blog entries about this. One in particular I wrote about how running a marathon made me feel like I had a unfair advantage in life, a secret weapon, a super power that people would not ever know just looking at me. From the moment I hit REGISTER to the moment I crossed the finish line I was growing and changing as a person. I went from grumpy, unhappy wife and mom, depressed and without direction to an empowered woman. A woman who knew that no matter the challenge, what ever roadblock I come up against, I would prevail. I would take it on and over come it. I would be OK. I would take on life.....just like I did 26.2 miles. So NO. For me running a marathon was not and is not pointless. It is a turning point. A beginning. It will become a keystone to the days and months ahead. You will find yourself in conversations saying things like "Before my first marathon....yadda yadda yadda.....After my marathon I...blah blah blah...." It will change your life.

Myth #17: People will be jealous of me if I do it. 

Well, I can't say for sure or speak for everyone but  yes, someone will be jealous. And it will be awesome.

Myth #18: My dog will love to train with me!!

Um, I'm certainly not a vet nor an animal professional...but I'd have to say FALSE. Of course your dog can run some of your shorter runs with you but that much mileage for your four legged BFF actually isn't good, in my opinion. I'd definitely talk to your vet about it first. Just like you have to work up to it, so does your dog. Just use common sense and don't overdo it. Hip problems are devastating to your dog and it's quality of life.

Myth #19:  I'll do one marathon and that's it. 

Maybe. Just maybe you will be the one and done type. Maybe not. I have known a few to complete one and mark it off their bucket list. But the majority end up being hooked and wanting to do at least one more. So who knows? Not you until you do one!

And finally...

Myth #20: Runners High, it's not real.

Oh yes it is real....that Runner's High is as potent of a high as any drug (not that I know first hand, I can only assume and I have been told by those who do know....and the chemical feel-good hormone released is the same hormone released in others when they get high from other not-so-healthy ways).  The Runner's High is in fact what keeps us going, keeps us running...you've heard it before, "She's out chasing that Runner's High!" Of course! And why wouldn't we be? It feels so good, so amazing! It truly is hard to put into words other than it is something that doesn't always happen but when it does it is amazing and you find yourself chasing it...and wanting to experience it again and again.

So there you have it. 20 myths about the marathon either validated or debunked. So what are you waiting for? It's the perfect time to pick a race, register, and get out there and catch that Runner's High!

Friday, January 2, 2015

Marathon Myths Part II.....

There are so many reasons to not run a marathon. Most them are not true. Not legit. Not anything other than excuses. Of course time is a factor. Logistics alone can be a nightmare. But the truth is if you want to, you will. If you don't want to, have ZERO desire to put your body through 26.2 grueling miles then you don't have to. No biggie. I don't care. No skin off my back. But lets call it like it is....most people don't run a marathon because they either plain and simply don't want to...or they think they can't.

Call a spade a spade. You're afraid. Afraid of the distance? Of failure? Of pain? Afraid of what damage will be done to you body? Of how hard it will be? Afraid of commitment (hey, I don't judge....I've got my own commitment problems, and committing to a marathon is NOT one of them).

If you missed my Myths of Marathon Part 1 you can find it HERE. Now,  let me tell you a few more myths of the marathon.....

Myth #9If I try and quit then I'm a failure.

False. Making the commitment alone takes guts. Stepping out of your comfort zone and daring to say maybe I can is a win! Many people try and do not cross the finish line. That is not a failure. I have completed three marathons (not a lot, many people have done WAY more than me!) and DNF'd one....and I am here to tell you that DNF (Did Not Finish) hurt in more ways that I can explain. It was one of the THE toughest courses in the U.S., Big Sur California. It is coined THE destination race of the United States. And yes, it was gorgeous. The view was breath taking. The course was killer. And it killed me. I had to quit at mile 20 after beginning a run/walk at mile 11 and finally coming to a complete walk at mile 18. I knew I would not be able to finish and found myself in the shag wagon. It hurt my pride but my knee hurt worse. Quitting was the best option and one that I knew would ensure I could recover and return to the road after I fully healed. So quitting is not a failure. Not starting because you are afraid? Well you be the judge.....

Myth #10I'll have to put an annoying 26.2 sticker on my car.

Nah! You don't have to. But I bet you'll want to!

Myth #11: I'll have to buy lots of expensive gear.

Again, nahhh.....you might end up wanting to get all the new techie gear, the latest New Balance, and the all-important compression tights. You can train and run in a simple cotton t-shirt (HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT DOING THAT) but you may pay for it with chaffing and skin rubbed off....but you can get by with simple moisture wicking fabrics that don't cost an arm and a leg. You will find that quality gear just feels better and makes you run faster.....er.......

Myth #12: I'm going to have to run like 127 miles a week. 

Nope. Not at all. It is best if you have a good running base of at least 15-20 miles per week and depending on the coach some say you should have been consistently running for at least a year. I agree that that would be optimal HOWEVER....with the proper plan and smart training you can train for and finish a marathon as a complete Novice, a noob if you will. And you can do that with minimal weekly mileage. Throughout my training for my first marathon my highest mileage week was 40 miles. Everything else was between 10 and 30 miles. The key is to train smart and be realistic about your training and your goal. Training to finish is WAY different than training to qualify for Boston.

Myth #13: I might poop my pants.....

Well....I cannot lie....poop happens. And it's gross. And it's embarrassing. Personally I have never pooped my pants while running but I certainly have had some close calls and thank my lucky stars there was a Honey Bucket close by (and for all y'all from the south, a Honey Bucket is a Porta Potty). Part of the training is figuring out your nutrition, what you can eat and cannot eat. What happens during a run after you eat XYZ? And adjusting accordingly. Running also gets your intestine all worked up and things just happen....and sometimes you poop. Hopefully not in your pants and not on the road. I've seen so many people pooping in bushes along the road or trail....it's just part of it and not for the faint of heart. If you absolutely cannot imagine yourself doing that then just know going in that there is a strong possibility that if you can't find a bathroom or a honey bucket, you might just have an accident if you absolutely refuse to use a bush.

Myth #15: I travel for work (or insert any reason for missing chunks of time in your training plan) and will miss workouts...there is no way I can swing it. 

Nope. Not completely true. My go-to marathon and running guru Hal-Higdon writes that you can stop running for up to 5 days without losing significant conditioning! So that business trip to Vegas that will have you at the slot machines  in a conference 12 hours a day will be fine. Simply ease back into your training plan once you get back. Don't be afraid to take walk breaks or slow your pace. You'll regain that fitness within a week or so.  But really.....we all know that most hotels have finiteness centers....or you could at least go for long walks. The activity will be good for you after sitting all day anyway!


Ok folks....If you have any marathon myths you'd like debunked let me know! I have five more to go.




Monday, December 29, 2014

Merry Christmas and all that Jazz....

It has been a crazy week and the holidays STILL aren't over! What in the world? Take forever!

With LB out of town visiting his dad I have had some free time on my hands. I have been working late a few evenings but when I am not working the house is quiet...my tree is still up with presents under it, waiting for LB to come home and open them. While I am more than ready to take that tree down and put all my holiday stuff away I have to remember that it's important to leave it up....for just a bit longer.

Of course I miss my Little Buddy like crazy when he is gone but I try to make the most of it. I've been able to get my workouts in and on a couple of occasions I've even gotten in two-a-days. While I am still struggling with running I have definitely caught the swimming bug and been getting back in to yoga. Man it feels so good and just after a few classes I can feel I am getting stronger. Swimming has increased my strength as well! I noticed over the weekend that I wanted to go for a swim SO bad! It was that longing like I'd get for a good, hard (or long) run! I just wanted to get in the pool and swim. It feels good to get that desire back. It's been a long time since I've felt that. It doesn't help thought, or maybe it does help (??), that I have put on a few winter pounds, you know to keep me warm and all. The extra weight makes me feel so gross and lethargic and slow....and gross. So I'm motivated to get busy and lose it, but the extra weight makes it that much more difficult to get out there and get moving. UGH.

So with the poundage piled on it really hit me this weekend that I can definitely empathize with others who struggle with their weight. It is hard. And while I don't think I could ever just give up and say "Wow, it's too hard, too much, I'm too far gone..." I can totally see how that would happen. You just start to get bogged down with the extra weight and it feels impossible to overcome it, to lose it. I've been swimming now at least twice a week for about a month.  I know it has taken 6 months to put these extra pounds on and they won't just fall off after a month of a little exercise. But I am hard on myself, and I want to see change (as I put a delicious pizza in my mouth).

I know the reality. Reality is that I have to change my eating habits. But I had thought that since I had been somewhat inactive for 6 months after my shoulder surgery that adding even a little exercise would make a huge difference. But nope. It's not enough. You cannot outrun a....er, fork? Is that how it goes? No, you cannot outrun a bad diet. And that is HASHTAG TRUE y'all.

So I'm not waiting for the New Year to make changes. Change is happening now. Today.  This photo below my friends, is a half marathon training plan, complete with swimming, yoga, and strength training. It goes 17 weeks and puts me running the Oklahoma City Memorial half marathon....Again. After I almost died last time. But I think it is time for a rematch...It also has some information about Whole30, an intense Paleo diet change that will help me break my cycle of sugar and bad eating habits, and hopefully reset me back on track, a path of health and feeling good!



This is the previously mentioned homemade pizza that my bestie's husband made in their outdoor brick oven...it's true, authentic Italian. And delicious....


And of course a picture of Ace recovering from his Holiday Hangover......We partied hard for one week and now it is time to buckle down and get back on track.



So maybe there will be a 5 Mile Year End Review coming....maybe not. Maybe there will be some New Year's Goals coming. Maybe not....and I will soon complete my Marathon Myths. But for now I am focusing on breaking these new habits that I created after moving to OK and getting back to a point where I can race 5 Mile Style again....ready for any race, any distance, any day...

Monday, December 15, 2014

Topic 16: 20 Myths about a Marathon....Part I

Oh boy! A running topic!! This may actually be difficult because I don't really know too many myth about marathons! But I'll debunk a few that I can come up with.

Myth #1: I could never run a marathon

Bologna. Pronounced BULL LONEY. 

I am pretty sure anyone can complete a marathon, given they have proper training and are cleared by their doctor. 

Myth #2:  I can't do a marathon because I can't run the whole way. 

Bologna. Again. Pronounced. BULL LONEY. A marathon is 26.2 miles. Point A to Point B. You can get there running, walking, crawling, hoola hooping (as long as you're on your own two feet, I've seen it...for real), and any combination of these. I used to think it wouldn't count if I walked. But it totally counts. Run. Run/walk. Walk. Who cares?! You did it and it counts!

Myth #3:  My toenails will fall off. 

Maybe. Maybe not. I've never lost a toenail to the marathon. I have many friends who have many times. I think it comes down to your toenail genetics, shoes, socks, lubricated feet, and conditions on race day. If it's raining, like it did in Portland 2010 where is rained like 7 inched in 2 hours, your feet and socks WILL be wet which is very hard on the toenails. And you know what? So what if you do? It's a badge of courage and accomplishment. It is something that most everyone who experiences it brags about. It is a conversation piece. All the cool kids are doing it and it should not be your reason for not taking on the 26.2. 

Myth #4: Only crazy people do it.

Ok. Maybe so....but it's a good kinda crazy!

Myth #5:  I will have to train all the time and have no social life.

#truth

Ok, well 90% true. You do have to train. You have to stick to your plan if you want to finish the marathon with as little pain as possible (there will be pain, but following your training plan helps. Significantly.) But your social life becomes your training. Or your training becomes your social life. You will find that you start hanging out with your running buddies and instead of staying up late you go to bed early and get up early. And you run for miles then go out for a big fat burger and hot coffee. And that is fun! That becomes your social activities and you soon forget any other things you did and you wonder what on earth you did before you had kids you started training for a marathon!

Myth #6: I will get so skinny! 

#false

Sorry. Simply not true for 95% of us. The thing is this, running makes you hungry. And if you don't follow a strict diet (and I don't mean diet like restricting, i mean disciplined eating of healthy foods and a combination of protein, fat, and carb) you will eat your weight in junk and thus not lose any weight. You will certainly see changes in inches and tightening and moving around as body composition repositions but you most certainly will not lose copious amounts of weight....unless you don't eat. In which case you would not be able to cover the distance of 26.2 miles. You will need a lot of energy which as we all know comes in the form of FOOD. And no, not necessarily carbs....which brings me to my next myth....

Myth #7: I hate bread and pasta. I can't run a marathon because I hate carbs. Or I am Paleo....

So? Yes you can. Complex carbs are better anyway! Try beans, lentils, and peas! Green vegetables, oatmeal, potatoes and sweet potatoes! Pumpkin is a good source of complex carb as well.  Eat healthy and eat appropriate portions and you will do just fine. If you find yourself in a brain fog or a slump (often in the middle of a long run if you haven't eaten enough prior) then you readjust your diet before the next run. It is all a game of trial and error. Everyone must find the way their body responds and how best to fuel it. What works for me most certainly won't work for everyone.  But don't let this deter you!

Myth #8: I might get last. And that will be embarrassing.

Uhhh.....don't chose a tiny marathon full of elite athletes. Ok, really...some of these marathons are HUGE. Chances are you won't get last. But yes, I guess there is usually a last person to finish. But who cares! You did it!! 26.2 miles is a long way and a respectable distance! And you just did it! That is all that matters! Also have a running partner that matches you pretty well and run together. You both can be last together! Or you may surprise yourself and not get last at all! And really, in the end no one really cares, it is your race and yours alone. Who cares what those benchwarmers think? Let them lace up and try to run 26.2 miles....then they can say something.

This is getting really long. I think I will break it up into at least two posts. Do you have any marathon myths you'd like debunked? Let me know and I'll give you my 100% personal opinion.



Thursday, December 11, 2014

Swim, swim, swimming...

I'm taking a break from my previously scheudled blog topics to actually discuss something fitness related! Yay!! Swimming! 

I've been swimming with the Masters swim team lately and it's going swimmingly. It is hard to make the time, but that's just it, I HAVE to make the time. Practice is from 8-9 PM and by the end of the day I am wiped out. But it is so worth it to just suck it up and go. I have yet to regret going, only regrets are the times I have not gone. 

Here is our 2000 meter workout from Monday. The workout Tuesday night was 2300 meters but I gran out of time and had to call it a day at 2000m. But I am ok with that.


Isn't it beautiful? I love pools. It just looks so calm and inviting!


I am trying to go three times a week in preparation for an actual swim meet end of January. I have verbally committed to swimming the mile. YIKES!!  When I swam 1.2 miles in my 70.3 my time was 42 minutes, I think. I know in the swim meet, in the pool, the times will be much MUCH faster. I know I will be destroyed. I know I won't win. I just hope it doesn't take me 40 minutes! Everyone would be watching me finish! One of my teammates told me her time in the last meet was about 21 minutes and most of the others were around 18 or 19 minutes. Ummm..... Say whaaaa?! Ok. I am not scared though...ok so I AM scared but not scared off... I will try. That is all I can do. Try. Wait, but like Yoda says, there is no try. Only do or do not....And I will do it. If I can get my time under 30 minutes I would be thrilled! I have about  month and a half to get ready for this....Given my first day day in the pool after being released from the surgeon for my shoulder I swam a mile. I know I can cover the distance. I just don't know how fast. Or how graceful. And my turns....oh. my. goodness....my turns are not pretty. But I'm not asking for pretty. I'm asking for completion. And maybe completion in a decent time. Under 40 minutes. Or under 30 minutes. Ok really all I am asking is to finish and to not throw up in the pool. That would not be cool. 

And just throwing this out there....I'm kicking around the idea of a Ragnar Relay in Florida. Just kicking it around. If I can work it into my schedule and figure out the logistics it just might happen. 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Topic 15: 20 Quick Tips About Health....

Health is multifaceted so here are 20 tips for health that encompass all facets of life:

1.  Get plenty of sleep. 
2.  Drink lots of water. 
3.  Eat less sugar. 
4.  Eat more whole foods. 
5.  Sweat. Daily. 
6.  Don't be lazy when you are parking. Don't be that annoying person who waits for four minutes to get the closer spot. You could have parked and walked in already! And gotten a few extra steps in. 
7.  Laugh often. 
8.  Don't be angry. Let things go. 
9.  Don't drink soda. 
10. Cut back on coffee. 
11.  Get a pet and snuggle with it. 
12.  Play with your kids. 
13.  Invest in yourself. Take "me" time and stop making "I'm a busy mom" excuse. You matter. A lot. 
14.  Talk about it. If not to a close friend find a therapist and work through it. 
15.  Drive slow. 
16.  Wake up early and don't be in a rush so that you CAN drive slow. 
17.  Vow to make your house a "Non-Yelling House". There is no need for it and it can cause anxiety in some kids. Even if it's not angry yelling. 
18.  Try yoga or at least meditation and/or mindfulness. 
19.  Count your blessings weekly. 
20.  Dare to day dream and begin to make those dreams a reality....


Do you have anything to add to my list? 


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Topic 14: The Best Moment of my Life...

Wow, this is tough. I've had a lot of awesome moments. But here are two...

1. When LB was born I got a glimpse of him then he was whisked away to the NICU. About two hours later I was finally able to see him. That very first moment I got to hold LB and look at his perfect little Elmer Fud face....Best. Moment. Ever.

2. The Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon in 2010. The entire 4 hours 9 minutes of it was awesome. But specifically the final 100 yards and the few minutes thereafter are the absolute best memory ever....I had run an excellent race. I saw my family waving and cheering me on around mile 21. Only a few miles to go. When I finally came within eyeshot of the finish line I knew I was going to do it. I was going to win! Win MY race! I heard my name being called and I looked to my left to see my dad and LB! Dad was running along beside me, on the backside of the fans camped out to cheer their runners in. My dad was finishing with me....with the biggest smile across his face, in his cowboy boots.


Once I finished and got a hamburger, chocolate milk, some cookies, a banana, an orange, some water, and more chocolate milk I made my way out of the athlete finish area and over to my dad and LB. The photo above is one of my all time favorites. I was so proud of myself, LB was obviously proud too...and my dad, he was proud of me. I could just see it in his face and eyes...he was proud of me. 

That photo was taken only weeks before he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. The thing about our Best Moments Ever is that you rarely ever know at the exact time it is actually happening that it is in fact THE BEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE....



Monday, December 1, 2014

Topic 13: Write a Letter to Someone I Need to Forgive...

One thing I know for sure is that forgiveness often is something that is done for yourself. Carrying hurt, resentment, and anger is exhausting and really does no one any good at all. I'd like to think that I'm pretty good about forgiving people. I don't carry a lot around with me. I can't. It's too much.  When you forgive someone you certainly are not excusing the behavior or saying what they did was ok or acceptable. When you forgive them you are doing so so that their behavior does not destroy your own heart.

Here it goes...

An open letter to the person who hurt my feelings,

Dearest,
I have a tendency of putting my head in the sand. It helps me get through the tough times. I push things away, pretend they aren't really happening, or just straight up shove them aside so that I don't have to acknowledge it. Often times I distance myself from others when I am hurting. And then I find that the one who hurt me is no longer there, mysteriously, or maybe conveniently, having bowed out. Disappeared. Ducked out while I was ducked under. I don't know where you are, how you are, what you are up to. You unfriended me on Facebook, remember that?  So this is the only way I can get you a message, not that you read my blog though. 
The thing is I have always been nice. Really nice. Sometimes people mistake my niceness for naivety or being oblivious.  But I can assure you I am neither. I notice things going on around me and I take note. I often catch discrepancies and they sometimes hit me in the face like frying pans.  But I rarely confront. I like to wait and see....watch what happens. Then I can decide what to do. Do you know what it feels like to be told you are awesome, or "amazing"?  Completely unprompted? Let me try to express to you the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside of a girl who has the Great Wall of China built up inside. It may have taken a few months but the most amazing thing is the moment I realized that the wall had been peacefully torn down, so peacefully that I didn't even realize until I was left wide open, vulnerable. I don't think I will ever understand why someone takes such pleasure in being a Knight in Shining Armor just to turn around and be the villain. Why take the time to carefully and gently tear down a wall, brick by brick, so delicately that there is nary an indication it was ever there, just to plummet through the once barricaded boundary and kill the unsuspecting fledgling heart? The only thing I can compare it to is working months and months to earn the trust of a stray dog, a stray who is doing just fine on it's own mind you. Who has found a nice warm shelter under a shed, where it's cozy and safe.  And it has found a place where it can eat every single day, without fail, and in general has found a way of life that works and is just fine. It has other doggie friends it plays with, and even gets handouts from random animal lovers consistently.  But one day a man comes and sees this dog and says, "Wow, what a great dog! I can't believe no one else wants it! It's so fluffy and cute! Such an amazing dog! I need to take care of this dog."  He just has to convince this stray dog to eat out of his hands. Eventually this dog's go-to food sources quit watching and waiting for it. It's friends stopped coming around because it was always with the kind man. And being with him is what it loved! After all he always gave it raw hides and treats, he even put a flea collar on it! He made the dog feel special! He took extra care to not scare it and to make sure it was taken care of in every way. He ran off bully dogs who wanted to steal it's spot under the shed. He eventually led it to his house where it had warm blankets and an amazing doggie bed....they play fetch and went on doggy walks to the lake. They did thing together that dogs dream of doing with their human......You get the drift. Then BAM. One day the man was gone. He didn't even say good bye. No more food, no more treats, no more petting or attention. No more doggie bed.  He just simply decided that this poor stray dog was no longer worth his time.  Or maybe he had to go and couldn't take the dog. Either way he didn't even say goodbye to the dog, gave no indication that he wouldn't be back. The dog sat, patiently waiting for him to return, to hear his whistle or his voice. Surely he wouldn't just leave me here, it thought. He wanted me! He worked so hard to get me to come to here, and now that I have there is no way he doesn't want me anymore....Why would he bother to do this for me if he didn't really want me? I can't believe that he would do that. Maybe something awful happened? Maybe I did something wrong? Maybe there is something wrong with me? 
I know the truth though, the truth about that stray dog and about myself. There is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with me. Maybe I did do something wrong, or something not right enough.  But the fact of the matter is I forgive you. I know relationships happen and there  are only two endings: Together forever or break up. So there is no surprise there that the relationship ended. However the surprise is in the manner in which it ended. And that is what I forgive you for. I forgive you for slowly building my trust, slowing making me feel safe and happy. Slowly convincing me that I would not regret taking a chance on you....only for you to disappear like Houdini. I forgive you for not valuing me as a person, not recognizing that I am a human with thoughts, feelings and emotions. I forgive you for dehumanizing me and tossing me to the side like I didn't matter. Like I never did and I never will (to you anyway).  
You see, I know that people are going to hurt me. They have in the past and they will in the future. I don't want to continue on in life untrusting and waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. I don't want to rebuild my ginormous wall, the one that I now know really doesn't protect me at all. If it remains strong and tall I hurt, living a lonely life not connecting to others. Or I take it down and I am left wide open to hurt, pain and rejection. So either way I recognize that I won't actually be able to find true, strong love if I keep my wall up. And the only way to know is to let the wall down, invite them in and just wait and see...I do have a hopelessly optimistic view of people and I believe that not everyone is out to hurt me. In fact I don't believe you really intended to hurt me the way that you did. I don't believe that you meant to come in like a wrecking ball (wow, I thought Miley might come in handy for me one day) and completely ransack my chest cavity.  You see, I understand your struggles as well. That's a part of loving someone. You know, loving all their flaws in imperfections. I saw yours and I accepted them. But I didn't see the end coming. I had finally allowed myself to take a chance and think about the future....
One thing I have learned over the years is that you can love someone but that doesn't mean they are good for you. And just because someone hurts you doesn't mean you immediately stop loving them. What I have noticed is that long after the dust has settled and the scars have healed, even with the memory of the pain and the hurt, the love is still there. You don't just stop. It doesn't go away. Over the years I have come realized that once I love someone I always will. The capacity and intensity may change, but the love never dies. Many times I think long-after-the-fact love is often confused with hate, hatred, or anger. But I know that you cannot hate someone unless you  first love them...and even then you don't actually hate them. You love them. And they hurt you. And thus when you say you hate someone  what you are really saying is that you love them and they hurt you so badly that you are choosing not to recognize that love and you are renaming it: Hate.
I don't acknowledge hate, unless it is used in a sentence with spiders. Then I really believe in HATE, the hate that has nothing to do with love....But I digress....For me, love is a strong and necessary tool used in forgiveness. And love for myself is what allows me to continue to love and care for those who otherwise could not possibly care less for me. It allows me to see my own beauty and potential, even when and if they aren't recognized by others. Love is hope. For me it is hope in the future and it makes every morning as exciting as Christmas morning...what will I do today? Who will I meet today? Who will I hear from today? What will my heart experience today?  
Yes, you may have broken my heart, but you have not broken me or my ability to love. As for me, I will be OK because I have no other option. I chose love. And I chose to forgive. So don't worry about me. I hope you are doing well and I wish you love and happiness in the New Year.
Your's Truly,
A



P.S. I  am going to be SO happy to finish all these pre decided topics and get back to fitness blogging!!! 

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