Oklahoma.....

Heartland Strong....

"We are, sadly, very experienced with this...."

In May 1999 I was in Edmond babysitting two amazing little kiddos, ages 6 and 3 when The Tornado of '99 came through. As we huddled under the staircase with blankets, pillows, flashlights, Chips Ahoy cookies, some candy, some water and a radio with dead batteries, I entertained these two kids in endless stories and banter about Blues Clues and make-believe super heroes. In my distorted mind, at 20 years old, I was thinking that if their parents didn't make it home, if something happened to them, I would have two kids. I would be responsible for them. I was up for it, without hesitation. I never even considered aunts, uncles, grandparents....they were in my care and I was responsible for them. That night my life changed. Something happened that made me realize that life is real. Life is short. Life is fragile. And at that point I was only 20. I wasn't a mom...I had no idea what it would be like 15 years later, when I had my own. 

When all was calm and the two kiddos were fast asleep under the stairs I crept out to watch the weather. All was clear. I carried each one to their bed and sat on the couch and cried. It was hours past time for their parents to return. Devastation was bad, but not quite as bad as tonight. 

As I sat and watched the news, much like tonight, I saw the complete devastation..... Finally I heard from the parents. They were ok. Stuck in Norman, but ok. I wasn't going to be a 20 year old mom. 

I have experienced many tornados in my life. It's just a part of life growing up in Tornado Alley Oklahoma. But never, never ever is anyone prepared for what happened today....And for it to happen in nearly the same path of the 1999 tornado. And to hit schools....

Just when I feel like I can come out of my shell and face the world that has become not-so-safe this happens. Just when I decide to find my Muchness something like this happens, something that threatens to take my Muchness away, just as I'm finding it. Life is tough. Life is hard. Life is not always roses and sunshine....Life likes to eat Muchness for breakfast.....

Not my Muchness. Not today....

Heartland Strong... My thoughts go out to my friends who were affected. Thank God my family was just out of reach.

This is what one of my friends saw when he emerged from his storm shelter.....

I've lost my Muchness....

...yeah. I had no idea. I mean I guess I knew but I didn't know. You know what I mean? I knew I'd lost it, but I had no idea what it was. It was my Muchness...Once upon a time I was much muchier. I had much more...more me. More carefree and fun. More laughs and more silliness. Much less seriousness, much less world on my shoulders. Much more sense of adventure...Then all of a sudden s$%# got real. Life happened and I found myself with much more responsibility and much less breathing room. A view of the world that was much less happy and safe and much more dark and real. So many things have happened over the past few years and each of those things took pieces of my Muchness...I left Washington and my friends, my dad died, my husband and I split, my grandma died, friends have waxed and waned....I am consistently here and breathing. But my Muchiness, notsomuch.

Last night I was out to dinner with a friend. He told me, "You've lost your muchness..." At first I was confused.  Have I? How is that possible? What is it that I have lost? Wait, people can tell I've lost it? But he was right and I new it. I am not the same me I was, I mean I am but I'm not. I don't want to feel 30 something...but I'd rather feel 30 something than 40 something (no offense to those who are 40 somethings...). Change is good but not all change is good.

Here is a clip in case you have no idea what I'm talking about:



So, it's true. I used to be "much muchier". At this very point in time I've lost my "muchness".  I looked it up just to be sure I truly understood and sure enough, it means "the quality of being in great quantity, extend, or degree." So the Mad Hatter was pointing out that Alice had lost some of who she used to be, she had lost some of herself, her true essence of herself, as she'd grown older. I'm determined to not let life take anymore of my muchness....I've got many more years and experiences ahead of me. At the rate I'm going I'll have lost ALL my Muchness, not just a chunk.

This summer it is my mission, with the help of my friend who wasn't afraid to tell me how it is and all my other friends who've missed my Muchness, to get my Muchness back. I've lost sight of me, or maybe I was never in sight of myself...but it's time. Now, just to figure out how exactly I can do that.....

I Got the Worm!

...as in the early bird gets the worm (what were you thinking?!)!

I've had an alarm for May 15th 12:01 AM set in my cell phone for weeks. So of course I was up last night as soon as the alarm went off and pulled up the website for The Army Ten Miler in DC this coming October. J-Ninja and I were on it. In the years past this race has sold out opening day so we weren't gonna mess around and miss out. I got my Registration Confirmation at 12:57 AM.

This year was no different; it was sold out by 9:30 this morning. It's going to be punch-me-in-the-face-packed with 35,000 participants but that's ok! We are really just doing it to get out of town, spend a long weekend in DC, and party like it's 1999 run. I'm pretty excited. This is the only race on my calendar for now. I'm still looking at a few local tris and itching to get back in the water.

Speaking of water, LB took me kayaking for Mother's Day! Well, I actually paddled him all around the lake, but he put forth a valiant effort and really worked hard rowing. Poor kid was wiped out by the time we finished.

It was super fun and probably the best Mother's Day yet! Hanging out with him on the water with nothing to do but talk about nature and spiders and fish and snakes and turtles and swimming and ninjas and legos and beaches and dogs and what we should do next was awesome.  I love that LB is getting old enough to go and do things like this with me.  He's already asked me when he can do a tri. I guess I better get on it. It is definitely one of the most rewarding things to see how this active and healthy lifestyle is carrying over to him. 

Run Naked...

I ran naked Saturday...as in no Garmin. Totally forgot it at home.

I sometimes always run faster when I leave the Garmin behind. I got my 5k and 10K PR's when I ran naked. Running is so mental and I know I am a weakstick when it comes to running and pace. If I look at my Garmin and see a 7:50 min/mile pace I freak out and slow down. Even if I'm feeling good. But I'm a stats geek and love to have the stats from all my runs, even if it makes me run slower.

So remember the marathon relay I mentioned in the last post? The one where we discovered AFTER registering that it would be 16 laps of 1.67 miles? Yeah...I was pretty worried about it but it turned out to be really cool. The "lap" was a trail through the trees with many twists and turns and ups and downs. It didn't get boring or old at all. We decided to switch off every lap. I'm not sure if that was the best idea but it seemed like a good one at the time. My first 5 laps were pretty great but by the start of my 5th lap I was getting pretty tight. I was able to hold off any one passing me except for maybe a couple of dudes. I felt like I was running pretty good when all of a sudden a chick flew by me. It ticked me off...she was blazing. Fast. Like I wanted to yell at her, "Only you can stop forrest fires!" But she was too fast and wouldn't have heard me. She was on a team of 4 and her team ended up finishing the marathon in 2:58 with an overall 6:48 min/mile pace. They were sick (in the nicest complimentary way)! She passed me and I had to let her go...It made me mad.

Running these laps reminded me of my cross-country days when we would do mile sprint repeats on a dirt road we called "The Hill" (it was a mile long). I remember one day in particular when I went home so mad because we had run 14 miles in one day. I thought that was torture. Absurd! Abuse! We had to run two miles to The Hill and then did 5 mile sprints with a recovery jog back to the bottom of the hill just to sprint it again. Then we had to run back to school. Those were the days. And Saturday's relay was much the same.

8 times I ran that loop. 8 times I could not wait to give the stupid baton to my teammate so I could go sit down. While I sat down and recovered the blazing fast team of crazy fast girls were running back and forth, jogging and staying warm. Not getting tighter and tighter...like me. I knew they had the right idea but I didn't care.

In the end me and my teammate won the Female 2 Runner Division! We were super happy with our performance!

Got our 1st Place Mugs!

So the 16 laps weren't so bad...thankfully the trail and scenery were enjoyable. I am so sore today and I'm pretty sure it's from sitting around between laps. I tried to stretch but I didn't stay lose. I almost want to say I am sorer than I have ever been. I'm so sore that the thought of my Sunday night hot yoga actually makes me hurt worse. My calves and hips and hamstrings and my knee and my back hurt.  In fact, I think I'll go back to bed right now....

And of course the Signature Pose....